She’s an absolute doll
Dear Inebriates,
“Two weeks ago, I brought home a new doll. My two other dolls still haven’t accepted her. They make cutting remarks, and she cries every day! Last night they pushed her out of our bed! Have you any advice?
“–Daunted D*llf*cker”
A Guest Inebriate responds:
“Dear F*cker,
“As dolls take much of their personality from their owners, perhaps the dissonance in your home is a sign of the dissonance in your own mind. Might I suggest calming meditations? Also, a visit with the appropriate imaginary counselor, such as Dr. Lucy Van Pelt, Barney, or the Easter Bunny might be in order.
Xzavier said,
March 3, 2009 at 7:48 am
First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!
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Mind Blowing!
louisrenault said,
March 29, 2009 at 12:14 am
Dear Doll, erm…Dear…
Ahem.
Might I suggest that you make a concerted effort to mingle with your peers on a more regular basis? Although one’s treasures and objets d’art are fine for contemplation, one wonders whether they really ought to stand as substitute for sexual congress with another human being.
If you find yourself unable to meet other human beings, might I suggest a personal ad? A cleverly worded little resume of all your finest qualities, sprinkled liberally throughout with various bon mots, would do wonders for your (dear God, forgive me!) fuckability.
Bonne Chance!
Louis.